I’m Alive

I look up to the sky, gasping for air
Sweat glistening on my skin, the wind makes my hair rise
I squint and the blue sky comes into focus
Alive I feel, radiant heat emanating from my body
It pulsates out as I exhale
Thoughts and sweet memories float through my mind but begin to stab
It’s beautiful pain
My eyes fill with tears
I am so blessed yet so cursed
A battle rages, my soul is on a roller coaster
My skin feels good to touch, I can see
I’m alive
I touch the soft green leaf of a bush, life
I pluck it and smell it; I look at the soft clouds
My heart beat slows down; I take a deep breath
Tears run down my cheeks
Who is winning?
I walk to the edge of the cliff and peer down
Waves crash onto the rocks; it’s beautiful
I begin to cry
Thoughts play through my mind
I see the people I love; they talk to me in slow motion
And they’re smiling
But I was just a bit short, always right there
I step to the end of the earth, and jump
My body soars through the air
I’m suspended in the sky forever
Gravity pulls me down; the air flows over my skin
Time stops
I smash into the deep blue ocean
It’s quiet down here
I flash back to reality; time restarts
On instinct I seek out air and pull myself to the surface
In the middle of big waves the fragility and preciousness of life whacks me
I distraughtly swim to shore and lay on the soft sand
I close my eyes and exhale
I can feel the warmth of the sun on my eyelids
I’m alive